As antisocial as I am, today (being the second day of Ramazan/Ramadan) I felt extremely comfortable with my mothers side of the family. There were times where I cowered into the side room to spend some time away from the crowded people and hang out with Vera, my nephew. Besides that, I think I did great. Seeing my Great Grandfather (Vera’s Great Great Grandfather) again felt amazing, and witnessing the sight of Vera, my brother, my mother, my grandmother, and my great grandfather next to each other made my eyes a little watery. Feeling a surge of emotion I’ve rarely felt before so sudden shocked me. Right in front of me, right in front of my eyes, was a little baby who was to continue this fragile old seniors family line. On top of that, I got to see the chain family that led to her existence. I think I started to tear up because I realized that I would never be lucky enough as my brother to be able to show my child (if it even happens) to my Great Grandfather. I was jealous that he could live an emotion that I may never in my life witness besides observing it take place.
Meeting new people for me is always difficult, especially family. Not only is it awkward to just stare at the person as they lock on to your very soul through a portal in your iris, but you listen to the words that form stories out of their mouth about how you were just 2 (two) years old the last time they saw you. I’m sorry that time doesn’t wait and that people grow. Yes, I am now 5 ft 11 in. Yes, I weigh about 75 kg. Yes, I have absolutely no idea who you are, no matter how you explain to me of a mythical place that took existence through your memories and my imagination. … This is how I used to think …
Today, however, was VERY different. I got to see the little infants I met 5 (five) years ago. My god. The feeling of seeing a young infant age through gaps of years is only described as morbid, you instantly feel the clenching hands of death grab your spirit and tease you. You feel time, not only do you observe its presence, you feel time. Suddenly you get a chill through your body and hear your breath, time pauses as you are left in shock because the last image of that person in your mind was of them sucking on a pacifier, and now, well, they can hold a full conversation with you. … it’s morbid.
Besides these experiences, I got to spend sometime with my “baby” cousin who is 2 years younger then me. (She will always be my baby cousin) I missed hanging out with her. One of the first things we did was shoot a vine video (I will upload it to my dance channel tomorrow morning), then she showed me her driving skills. Keep in mind, this is my “baby cousin”, in my eyes shes 12 (twelve). Remember that morbid feeling of time?
Overall, This day was an amazing experience for me.
Today, I learned that no matter how far you stray from your family, and no matter how long you are gone, you still have a chance to fill an empty void that time has left between you.